Don’t Be What You’re Not By David Wygant

There are so many dating books out there that want to make you become something that you’re not. I think the reason that so many dating books take this approach is because if people are having a difficult time meeting the opposite sex, they feel like there is something wrong with them.

You think to yourself, “well, I’m good at my job, my family and my friends love me, so there must be something really wrong with me because I can’t meet the opposite sex.”

Because of this, a lot of people get attracted to things in the beginning when they are trying to find ‘the cure’ – as if they have some type of disease. The fear of meeting people is some awful disease and so you’re going to try to find some type of really ridiculous cure. I think a lot of these so-called ‘dating experts’ in these dating books are using Eastern medicine – take the antibiotic four times a day for ten days, and you’re going to be cured.

But the problem is that this leaves a lot of people with a bad taste in their mouth. Many of these books try to teach you to have a whole different personality, how to be a whole different you. They make you do things that are not even within the realm of who you are – they aren’t congruent with the core of who you are as a person.

You read these books, and you start to get a little bit frustrated, because it tells you to go out there and do these things – it almost tells you to go out there and be a clown, or tells you to go out there and dress in ways that you would never dress. It tells you to say things that you would never say. Or maybe make fun of somebody, or be daring and kiss some total stranger, just for the sake of kissing him or her.

The problem is that these books promise you a ‘whole new you,’ and the fact is that you have to become a whole NEW you, because they never actually dig deep into the core of who you are.

The thing that I’ve always taught that is so different is about intuition. You have spent your entire life basically unlearning all of the intuition you had as a child. When you were a child growing up, you were curious about everything: you questioned things, you talked about things. As you got older (ages four, five, six, and seven) each time you talked to total strangers and said totally outrageous things that were true, your parents would look at you and say, “you can’t speak like that to strangers.” They’d then turn to the person and say, “excuse my son (or daughter) for being so rude.”

In reality, you weren’t being rude. You were just being an intuitive, curious kid and you were picking out the obvious things to talk about. Society works against us in that way. Society teaches you how to be counterintuitive from the ages of five to 14.

So then when you start liking the opposite sex again, you’re done for! Girls and boys have cooties – remember when you had ‘cootie shots’ and all that other stuff? So by the time you’re ready to talk to the opposite sex, your intuition is done. You don’t trust yourself anymore.

You can’t think of what to say to someone, because you spent so many years being told what you couldn’t say to people. You’re not able to trust yourself.

The thing that I teach is how to be intuitive again, and how to be intuitive with everything. If you think about everything that I’ve ever coached, and ever talked about, it’s about paying attention to the small details of life so that you’re able to go and have a conversation with anybody.

For instance, I’m sitting across from a client right now. We went out to dinner, and when we arrived, the hostess (who we noticed happened to be very sexy) escorted us to our table. I didn’t know what to say, but I try to pay attention to everything that is going on around me. I know that if I pay attention, I will find something to say to her. Something will come up, there will be a way to start a conversation, and I will be able to start the flirtatious banter with her.

So we sit down at the table, and she bends down to light the candle on the table. She takes a lighter, digs her finger in there, and she tries to tilt the thing to light it. I see the flame come up and it goes right around her thumb. Immediately I said to her, “oh, that’s quite a skill. Every time I do that at home I end up burning myself.”

She started laughing a little bit, and so then I went into storytelling mode – storytelling mode creates that emotional attraction, that emotional bond you can have with somebody. In storytelling mode, I told her about my 75-hour candle that I have – you know that soy wax candle that you buy that burns for 75 hours?

I probably only had about two or three hours left on the candle, I wanted to get those couple of hours in there, and I tried so hard. So I described to her the struggles I had lighting the candle and the amount of times that I burned it. I think I even made a joke about it being a 73-hour candle instead of 75.

We started talking more about it, and she shared with me some of her other candle-lighting tricks. This was all about creating the moment based on pure intuition. And the next time I go and I talk to her, I can basically say, “oh man, you have to show me one more time how to do that.”

We already have a funny thing to share with each other if I want to pursue it further. It was all based on natural intuition – intuition that all of us posses, but we’ve spent a lifetime forgetting to rely upon.

This is something that everybody needs to learn every day. A lot of people look to other dating experts that offer that ‘magic pill,’ and that really sounds good: ’27 ways to meet somebody being the new you.’ I’m teaching you 27 ways to meet somebody trusting yourself again and being the intuitive you that you’ve always truly been but society taught you not to be.

This is the big difference between me and other dating experts. A lot of their systems don’t work for people, and that’s why people come over here all of the time.

If you want to live this lifestyle everyday you need to get my mastery series for men. Click here for details

And ladies this information above is for you as well. Check out my womens mastery series. Click here.

Todays podcast is perfect for a friday of what ifs.

Do you head to the bars tonight drink a bit and then play the what if game?

Do you tell yourself if i could just say this or that I will be able to approach that hot woman.

Time to get rid of ifs!!!

This entry was posted on Saturday, May 17th, 2008 at 9:48 am and is filed under Sex. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.