Eye Contact By David Wygant

I’m sure all of you have already read some of the posts we’ve done on body language and how to command a room when you first walk in. One thing that always comes to mind – and I get a lot of emails from guys about this – is eye contact.

Can you have too much eye contact? When is the right time to look at her? Is there too little eye contact? What if I’m nervous? Where exactly do I look?

Well, here’s exactly what I say about eye contact. Eye contact is very important. Whenever I talk to a woman, I look directly into her eyes. I don’t care if I’ve met her for the very first time or if I’m having sex with her, I will look at her directly in her eyes.

Women don’t trust people who look all over the room. Nervous eye contact is a guy that looks you in the eyes and then bounces around and looks all over the place. When your eyes are bouncing all over the place, what you are telling a woman – or at least what she thinks in her mind – is that you are looking at someone else, or checking somebody else out.

The reason that women like direct eye contact so much is that they feel like you are completely engrossed. When someone looks at you directly in your eyes, they feel like they are getting all of your attention. There’s a key element to this whole thing as well – when you’re looking at someone directly in their eyes, you’d better not look at them like a stone statue.

You’d should be looking at them very animatedly – if they’re telling a story, don’t just stare directly at them without a smile on your face. React to the words that they say. If they say something funny, smile! If they say something sad, show sadness in your face.

You can’t just stare directly at them, because that type of direct eye contact is going to make them nervous. You need to make sure that your facial expressions also match your eye contact.

Another thing that makes women nervous is when you are talking to them, you look at them in the eyes, and then you keep looking down. Looking down shows women that you’re an insecure man. Women will not feel secure around you, and they will actually start wondering whether or not they want to continue talking to you. They wonder why you keep looking at your shoes. They wonder if you’re reading the Nike label on your sneaker or whatever it might be – but it shows the signs of a weak man.

Don’t forget – 80% of what you do and how you communicate with women is nonverbal. You never have another opportunity to make a good first impression. By looking down, you are showing a sign of weakness.

Women are looking for strong men, so the eye contact you give has to be backed by animation on your face as well. So if you don’t know how to animate your face, or how to react to something, what you need to do is hang out with a friend of yours and have them tell you a story. Look directly in the mirror (instead of looking directly at your friend) and every time they talk, check out your smile. Check out how you look. Check out the way you nod your head. Check out the way you use hand gestures.

Would you trust yourself? Would you be attracted to yourself? You’ve got to work on it. A lot of men (and women too) have trouble smiling. You’ve got to smile, and you have to be comfortable in your smile. You have to be comfortable in the way you frown, and in the way you animate.

Look at trained actors. This is another great thing – if you take a look at actors, there is something in the industry called ‘eye actors.’ If you look at the way an actor reacts to certain things, there are actors that will move their eyes all around and scrunch their foreheads a bit and get animated.

That’s why a lot of actors are shooting themselves up with Botox. They are really using their eyes all the time – they are penetrating with their eyes. It’s a known thing living in Los Angeles that there are lots of eye actors out there. There are some really good eye actors – take a look at Patrick Dempsey on Grey’s Anatomy. Look at the way he looks at a woman – look at the way he smiles, the way his face lights up. Look at his eye contact.

Or George Clooney – he does it the same type of way. Tom Cruise is a wonderful eye actor – same thing, he looks directly at you. His facial expressions always match the emotions being shown in his eyes. Don’t be afraid to show emotion when someone tells you an animated story. These are some great ways to practice.

We notice it more and more – eye contact has to be strong, powerful, and has to really show your intent. Not only are you showing that you are really listening to her, but you are also showing that you are not afraid of her. That’s one of the key things that turn a woman on – they can sense that you have a powerful, masculine energy coming off of you.

How do you turn that energy into a more seductive look though? Let’s talk about that another time. It’s important to practice this eye contact in order to master it, before we get to advance the seductive eye contact. So we’ll talk about seductive eye contact another day.

If you are going out tonight and plan on chasing the night you need to listen to this podcast from a live coaching session in London.

This information will change your life forever. But beware if you listen to this after you went out…….don’t say I did not warn you first!!!

 

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This entry was posted on Friday, May 9th, 2008 at 10:34 am and is filed under Body, Sex. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.