No Picture No Date!!!
Pictures on the Net By David Wygant
Here is an open memo to all of you who do not put up pictures of yourself on internet dating sites.
World news: the internet has been big for dating for the last seven or eight years! You need to get over yourself. You need to put your picture up and you need to put it out there.
You should never hide the fact that you’re dating. You should never worry about if someone at work will see you on match.com. The fact is: you’re dating! You should be glad you’re dating.
The person from work who sees you on match.com might have a cute friend, and maybe they didn’t even know you were single in the first place! They might see you on the internet and then come into the office and say to you, “oh my god, I didn’t know you were single! I have the greatest friend for you…” and that friend might be the person you’re supposed to be with.
You need to really be happy with who you are, and you need to post your pictures. There are so many people who like to pretend that they are bigger and hotter than they really are.
There was this actress in LA – not an actress that any of you would know – she was a small bit player on a lot of different TV shows that you would never ever notice. She works as an actress – congratulations for that, it’s wonderful for her and something that a lot of people can’t do.
This actress didn’t have her photo posted because she was an actress. She contacted me, and she swore she was pretty, she promised all this stuff about herself – she had to sell herself to me before she felt safe enough to send me her photos. And then when she finally sent me the pictures, I had no idea who she was.
Put a picture up. Unless you are a famous politician or a FAMOUS actress, or someone who for legal reasons can’t – like your picture is on a milk carton and you’re lost, or you’re on the post office walls – put your picture up on the internet so people can see who you are!
Trust me – other people on that site don’t want their pictures passed around either. Basically, it’s an internet code – nobody is going to sit there with a photo of you and post it all over the place.
So once again, the chances of someone recognizing you from the internet as the masked bandit that held up three banks – or the person who runs whatever business you run – are slim to none.
Everyone who puts their picture up on the internet is vulnerable and they don’t want their pictures passed around either. In all my years of coaching people – all of my years in this business – I’ve never met anyone who said, “you know, I saw Joe up there today and I just posted his internet dating profile all over the place!”
So put your picture up – it will increase your odds in dating. Not only that, but the invisible man or woman that winks at someone – like anyone wants to go and respond to an invisible person!
When the invisible man or woman has winked at you, you’ve read their profile (which most people won’t do, but for some reason or another you’ve taken that chance) and you actually like what they say, I suggest responding like this:
Subject line: Thanks for the wink…
Message: Well, you sound great – but then again, everything sounds great. I don’t flirt with invisible people ? Send a picture, reveal yourself, so I can see who you are ?
Make it fun, make it playful, and try to uncover the invisible person.
Hopefully this blog will help to uncover the invisible people that want to hide behind their fears!!!
Todays video is all about becoming less technical in your conversations with women. Are you thinking about what to say next instead of just reacting to what she says.
If you desire to connect with women on a deeper level then todays video is for you.
May 15th, 2008 at 6:20 pm
David - Fantastic blog today!! I could not agree with you more on this picture issue …and truthfully I don’t understand so many people’s opposition.
I am an average-looking girl … No great beauty who is turning men’s heads wherever I go (David has seen my picture and can confirm this). It is for this exact reason that I absolutely 100% want my picture up online - I want someone to see me and decide if they find me attractive or not (and vice versa).
I don’t understand people who get bent out of shape because someone wants to see what you look like before meeting you. People are attracted to what they’re attracted to …and you can’t make someone be attracted to someone they’re not.
It also doesn’t make someone a bad person because they are not attracted to you (or make you a bad person if you are not attracted to them). It’s just chemistry! And if you’ve ever experienced real chemistry, you would never wish it were otherwise!!!
I am saying this as a gal who has had her fair share of rejections … I think the way to look at this is that EVERYONE is entitled to pursue people with whom they share an attraction and share chemistry. No one should settle for less than that, nor should you expect someone to do so.
Put up your picture online … Why would you want to increase your chance of having a bad meeting by limiting the amount of information you provide?! Also, think of it this way … you never know who might be checking YOU out!
May 15th, 2008 at 7:02 pm
I’ve always thought of internet dating as “man-shopping”. So if you don’t put a picture up there its just plain bad marketing strategy particularly for women not to do so. Men are more visually oriented and women are more into the story. I’ll admit, though I’m not at all proud of this, that I actually have to see photos, and hear his voice before I’ll agree to meet a man from the internet. I had been emailing this guy who was very nice, a little too into baseball for my taste, but ok, then I talked to him. His voice is higher pitched than mine is. It just felt wrong, and really weird. So you can say I’m mean, you can say I’m shallow, but I don’t expect someone who finds me odd to fall truly madly deeply in love with me so why shouldn’t I expect the same? I guess my long and rambling point here was there is more than just the picture.
May 15th, 2008 at 8:38 pm
I don’t respond to emails from people that don’t post pics. I showed you mine, you have to show me yours. It’s only fair.
Someone did recognize me from my online profile. I was volunteering at a triathlon and one of the athletes said “You’re on Match.com.” Being the smartass I am I asked him why didn’t he email me. He said he did but I never responded. Oops.
May 15th, 2008 at 10:46 pm
This ties in with yesterday’s blog with the yes/no/maybe ‘rating’ system. I’ll look at the pictures and it’s either a ‘no’ or a ‘maybe’, with the majority in the maybe category. Ok, some maybes are stronger than others.
I’ll then read the profile; some maybes will go toward yes, some will drop to no.
Someone who posts a full body picture with confidence, is a lot more attractive than a similar person with self image issues.
I’ll admit to meeting one woman “for the practice of getting out and meeting people”. I was pleasantly surprised to learn that the photos were not a good representation; and we had plenty to talk about…
Ken E.
May 15th, 2008 at 11:47 pm
Oh yaaa, Pictures should be up. Great catalysts for the next level.
I have a friend of mine who recieved “half-pictures” from a lady. After some conversations on the phone, he decided to travel all the way to Geneva to meet the lady…He got shocked when he met the lady. On top of being different from the one appearing in the photos, she was physically disabled…
I dont descriminate against disabled people but its vital for such information to be shared honestly early enough..
May 16th, 2008 at 3:34 pm
And this is a fine way of weeding people out. It’s not the most effective way, but it helps.
If I’ve signed up for a dating site, why would I want to cheat myself out of some of the free advertising the site creates for me? It’s like, we have this here new-fangled product, but we’re not going to tell you what bottle it comes in, so you have to hunt for it when you get to the store!! Yay!
Boo.
May 16th, 2008 at 8:32 pm
bertie gobbles knobs.
May 17th, 2008 at 8:42 am
Pictures are good but many sites want “head” shots. That means a guessing game as to what they really look like. I have seen a great head shot only to meet a whale! A waste of my time and hers. I feel a full length pic is honest.
May 17th, 2008 at 10:21 am
A whale, Rio?! How charming …
May 18th, 2008 at 6:04 pm
Some whales have very pretty faces…
May 18th, 2008 at 6:07 pm
Its just that, I own a small car, and they don’t fit in it…..on the lighter side, there is nothing wrong with going on a date in two cars.
May 19th, 2008 at 4:43 pm
Okay, I know I shouldn’t self-promote, but I have to in this case. I wrote a blog a while back about this very thing. People who don’t post their pictures are hiding something and that can come off as creepy. And creepy is a bad place to start. If anyone wants to read my rantings on the topic here’s the MySpace Blog I wrote about it:
http://blog.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=blog.view&friendID=72118639&blogID=370488984
May 19th, 2008 at 10:02 pm
everybody on here who knows me, knows, i’m not one for this internet dating SHIT!… i rather go out and meet someone in person.
one of the problems i have with internet datibg is this shit picture. i’m not photogenic at all. i’ve met and know alot of women, who straight out told me that if they saw my picture on a dating site, they wouldnt even have given me a chance, not matter how much we had in common. case in point goes for both women and men… get out and meet people in person, talk to someone without using your cell phone, blackberries, text messager, emails etc… stop being a fucking slave to technology.
a picture isnt a reflection of a person, personality or chemistry. there been many women, i wasnt that physically attracted to, which i’ve gotten great chemistry off of that lead to some great stuff. all from looking past the picture to the PERSON themselves… personals blow. one thing about meeting someone in person, less time wasting, and instead conversation!.
if people worked as hard as that did on dating as they do on there careers… this wouldn’t be a problem… instead that think they can throw up a couple of pictures, and a bunch on laundry list demand which are impossible for most men and women to live up too. bollocks! Guys, grows some balls, and get talking! and women lets start wearing thoughs ovaries on the outside… open up and say hi! fuck the phones/blackberries and Ipods… break down the fucking walls, open yourself up! and start living in the now.
cheers,
Joe
May 22nd, 2008 at 4:03 pm
Woww Joe you got BLAZING man!
What happened to the poet?
Great kick in the ass you gave I must say